Special Thanks

I am ending this blog with a special thanks to everyone who has said prayers, sent food, sent flowers, and especially those who stood by our sides the past few days. The wake and funeral are horrible to go through, but I know that the hardest part is only just beginning. It's in the day to day living without her that seems impossible right now. My sisters and I do realize how lucky we are to have not only eachother, but to be surrounded by great friends and family members. So again, on behalf of the three of us, our families and our mom;s siblings Thank You.

He only takes the best

~~He Only Takes The Best~~~~

God saw you were getting tired,
and a cure was not to be.
So he put his arm around you
and whispered come with me
with tearful eyes
we watched you suffer,
and saw you fade away.
Although we loved you deeply
we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
Hardworking hands to rest.
God broke our hearts
to prove to us,
He only take the best


By Jordan Memmel

Join the Angels Mom

Join the Angels Mom

A daughter without her mother is heartbreaking enough
But God did the right thing when he saw you suffer so much,
You will still be there to guide us in life, but just from another place,
And it is now Heaven’s angels who are blessed with your loving face.

So join the angels mom, they are lucky to have you,
But don’t forget we love you and you’ll be greatly missed too
Memories of you will be nothing but fond,
Its going to be hard without you mom,
but it wont be for long

I am no longer scared of death, I no longer live in fear,
For I know that when God calls me, you’ll be near,
We’ll try our best to make you proud and always smile,
Even though being happy again, may take a while

Just promise to look down on us
and help us in times of need,
Now go make the most of it mom,
from the pain and suffering
you’ve finally been freed.

Memories for broken hearts
So many memories in all years past,
So many jokes, so many laughs,
So much love you liked to share,
You never said, but we knew it was there.
The love you had for everyone, was the rarest you could find.
That love is sacred and will follow us through time.

We knew you didn’t want to leave,
You hated all goodbyes,
But this was by far the hardest,
you loved the life you would leave behind.

We knew you would be going soon,
You were leaving us in that room,
It wasn’t you upon that bed,
You weren’t Mom we all said.
You were just a figure.

In our hearts you kept a beat,
In our thoughts you would now be.
So as your body draws to a close, we say,
We love you, and you love us too,
And that will always be the way.

All you wanted was to be free,
From pain and misery,
You just wanted to walk for miles around,
You wanted to be with nature and the faintest sound,
That’s all you wanted, just that wish,
You’ve got it now,
You are in peace,
Your wish has come true
your happy now and we are too.

Your spirit it wanders and watches us,
and if you could speak,
I know what you’d say,
I’m sorry,
I’m sorry everyone,
I must go now, I can not stay.

Thoughts....

Well, just when you think things can't get worse they somehow do. Yesterday, Jamie, Erinn and I had to plan our mother's funeral. We needed to choose a casket to bury our mother in. I remember being in that same room choosing a casket for my dad a few years ago, yet it seemed like only yesterday. We had mom then, now we only have eachother. I say only but I know how lucky we are to be able to lean on eachother. Whenever we feel like no one can possibly understand what we are feeling we can find comfort in knowing that we are each going through the same thing. Other people who've lost their mother think they understand but unless your mother was your bestfriend, your heart, your soul......you can't possibly understand.
Tomorrow begins the morbid part of this whole process. To view my mother in her coffin is going to be so difficult. As difficult as watching her take her final breathes? No, but horrible and gut wrenching no less.
I don't know how to go on living day to day without being able to talk to her. I know what she wanted for me and my sisters I just don't know how to do that for her.
I feel like I can't breathe. There is this constant tightness in my chest as if my heart is being suffocated. There is no doubt in my mind that my heart broke when my dad died. Now it has surely been severed, beyond any repair. My heart will never be the same........I will never be the same.......Our family will never be the same.