Monday, 7/30

Thankfully, last night marked our first night where no one needed to stay with Mom. She was finally having solid sleep. However, today is another story. She is back to being very agitated and unable to get comfortable due to dizziness.

Mom doesn't even really talk to us much right now. She will usually say "uh oh". When we say what's wrong, she will make a circling motion with her pointed finger to indicate that the room is spinning. Meclazine is not touching the dizziness at all. They gave her some Compazine by IV yesterday while I was here, but she complained of nausea and dizziness soon after and it could not be given for another 4 or 5 hours. Dee was able to get her to take the Meclazine in pill form 2 times today. She's very dry in the mouth, but refusing to try to drink. I get her to actually open her eyes and give me a dirty look only when I drip water into her mouth with the straw.

By the time I got her at 5:30, Mom began to get very antsy, complaining of nausea and dizziness and trying to get out of bed. We told mom's nurse for today (a fabulous guy named Andrew) about it all and he called the dr only to be told she can't have anything else. When I threatened to medicate her myself (I learned to be a queen B from my Mom), they decided to show up and hear what we had to say.

Thus, they will be trying a new med for the dizziness and hopefully something for the anxiety if she cannot be convinced to stay put. They suggested they might be able to get a "one on one" for her so that we wouldn't need to stay the night. I'm not sure that she would listen to anyone or feel comforted without us here. When she's in this state, she wants us to hold her hand all the time. Will a one on one do that? Doubtful.

We also talked to the doctors about her complete lack of mobility now that they have transitioned to medications intended to make her less sedated. Um, not really working and she's probably better off on what she was getting before. They took her off the Dilaudid and put her on Morphine, but she's now getting Morphine many more times per day than she was getting the Dilaudid. Is this really what they think "survival" should be?

Dee and I also expressed how angry we are that the port procedure (which they said would make things so much easier for her) led to the punctured lung, collapse and subsequent procedures. We really feel this was the trigger for the downward turn Mom has taken. I think our point was taken, but it probably won't be the last time I bring it up. In our words - how ridiculous.

We'll keep you posted, but suffice to say we are not letting Mom go down without a fight.